To all those who are struggling at Christmas...

Over the last few days I have read so many sad things in the news, mostly relating to children.  Obviously what has happened to those innocent children at Sandy Hook Elementary is unfathomable.  Every time the thought comes into my mind of what the parents and the children who survived are going through, I have to shake myself to stop thinking about it.  And to,  of course stop and appreciate how lucky I am.  There has been so many suicides of young people over bullying recently too, and I just wonder how my little Tilly is going to handle the big bad world when she is really in it.  

At this time of year it is hard for so many people, for so many different reasons.  Losing loved ones, being far apart or in the army, feeling financial pressure, having nowhere to spend Christmas, being hungry or homeless or being depressed.  And sometimes I think we forget this when we are stuck in a long line in a shop, buying another gift for someone who has so much already.  

So lets all take the time to talk, listen or give to someone who is struggling at this time of year.  

Here is a poem I read on FB dedicated to those little angels who are watching over us tonight.

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mous

e.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

My miracle...

3 years ago today I became a mother to the most special little girl in the world - well to me and her pappa anyway!  It was truly a miracle.  I went through a silent miscarriage just a few months before she was conceived and then another one when I was 20 weeks, where I was sure it was all over!  But no,  little Tilly was still in there and the doctors suspected it was a silent miscarriage of a twin.  I was overwhelmed with the fact that something survived after what I had experienced but there she was, the little stubborn and persistent madam.

It's been a fun-filled ride, and my life has changed for always and I sure know husby's has!  But I would not change a thing.  Of course it is daunting to know that it us who will be responsible for who she becomes and who her children become for that matter.  But when you just focus on each funny thing she says or expression she makes, then it just feels like you have been hit with a big rush of love and goo and you can't believe how lucky you are.  

So I can't wait until Sunday when all of Tilly's little cousins and friends come to her birthday party and they get to eat cake and ice-cream and say funny things.  And I can't wait until we get to spend Christmas in Dublin with all of her important people that make her one half of herself.  And hear her speak swinglish and chase the dog around the house.  I can't wait to cuddle up in bed with her and husby and just feel grateful that we have our miracle, and don't need anything else.

Happy weekend y'all and remember guns are bad!

Advents calendar...

Here's a topic that's got my attention this year, for different reasons.  The first reason is that at work we developed an advents calendar as the theme for our Christmas campaign, and it's ALL I have been doing for the last 2 months.  Finally it's ready and hopefully customers are enjoying it and getting some great Christmas gift ideas.

Listen to the Christmas song here too!

The second reason is that I didn't get to choose Tilly's calendar this year, because it was chosen for me (story needs a blog of it's own, so don't ask!).  But during my conversations with different people about advents calendars, I got some great ideas.  Like my colleague who's calendar was a story which was read over 24 nights.  How wonderful!  No expensive, unnecessary presents, or candy or just stuff!  But something that stimulated her imagination and meant cosy time for her and her mom.  Or how about filling each day with an experience like baking gingerbread on day 4, or visiting an animal shelter on day 10 or donating a toy to orphanage on day 15.  You know something meaningful and important and that teaches kids that Christmas is not only a time for getting but also giving and sharing.

I'm slightly obsessed with the whole idea and can't wait for next year when I have control again!

Here are some great crafty ideas for calendars - there are so many fun things to do.  

Getting into the Christmas spirit...

So it's the 1st Advent here in Sweden this weekend, when everyone gets all the Christmas lights and stars out of the basement.  Lights candles and bakes nice smelling buns and gingerbread cookies.  It's also time for the kids to open their first little present from the advents calendar.  Normally I find it difficult to get into the actual tradition because I am always busy at work or just not quite there yet with the Crimbo buzz.  However this year I am feeling all into it and I think it has to do with this mostly...

It's snowing already and really cold at the moment which is nice since it has pissed down rain for weeks and there is nothing worse than rain!  The other reason is that Tilly has started to understand Christmas and all the things that go on and is singing all the songs she has learnt in dagis.  She has written her letter to Santa and Santa you better get a ticket to Disney Land because that is where most of the shite she is asking for comes from!  

But it's so fun, because it was only 3 years ago she was a teeny tiny little creature we were just keeping alive, surrounded by a teeny tiny tree and a poor excuse for Christmas in general.  Except of course our big gift was her, a whole 3 weeks early, 10 days before Christmas.  Thanks Santa!  

So I have settled down tonight with a glass of Cava, lit lots of candles, written the cards, planned the gifts and am now looking forward to a fun and cosy weekend with my family getting all merry!

Only 13 days left until Lucia (another Swedish tradition I will write about) so wrap up warm folks and spread the joy.....x

Sweet dreams...

Soon Tilly will be 3 and it's time to get her a big girl's bed.  She is sleeping in her cot which transforms into a bed, but it is still only the length of a cot.  Although she is cosy, we think it's time for her to have a change.
There is nothing better than decorating a kids room.  I went all out from day 1.  She has slept in her own room since coming home from the hospital, because we never wanted her to get used to the idea of our room as a place to sleep.  Absolutely as a place to cuddle up with mamma and pappa in the mornings, but to have sweet dreams at night, everyone needs their own bed, especially mamma and pappa!

She really loves her room and often closes the door and says 'go away!' - which is quite nice sometimes because we know she is comfortable and independent.

She has a little cosy corner where we read at night, and she can reach everything that she likes to play with.

I ordered this bunting with her name on from a place in New Zealand called Little Kiwi's nest.  It's cool and has taught her how to spell her name.

There is lots of colour and patterns and things to keep her busy.  Just the way a kids room should be I think.  I've seen a lot of muted tones in kids rooms and I just don't get it.  There will time enough for beige and brown when they get older.

Right now anyway we are contemplating a kind of loft bed.  It is only 107cm high, which is not as scary as the high bunks and that way it shouldn't take up anymore space in her room and still have a spot for her cosy reading corner underneath.  What do you think? Any other great ideas welcome....

Ageing gracefully and naturally...

I'm just sitting at home half watching some programme about plastic surgery for people who have stuff wrong with them like an extra large nose, or boobs that literally touch the ground.  And it got me thinking of all the people, especially in Hollywood who have so much shit done to themselves, when they looked perfectly above average to begin with.  And then I looked over at the damn Barbie doll my daughter got given against my will, and it got me thinking even more about what kind of image kids will have of how they should look.  Considering Barbie is like 50 and still looks pretty good, Tilly might think that's normal.  Girls seem to be starting so early now with botox and skin products and are so obsessed with ageing.  I've heard of girls getting lip enlargements for 18th birthday presents.  And I see alot of girls with the same profile - duck lips which they think looks natural.  It's not natural at all and if they are starting so young, what will they look like when they get older.  

I scanned the net and found some interesting pictures and wonder how these celebrities think we can't see that they have had surgery. Duh?!

 

Then I found some pictures of older woman who I think have aged naturally (well almost) and they still look beautiful.

All I know is that I will try my best to encourage and be an example to Tilly, to show her it's ok to get grey hair or a few wrinkles.  It shows you've lived.  

Happy living all you beautiful people....

4 years down...

Yesterday was our 4 year wedding anniversary.  In some ways it feels like just yesterday and in other ways it feels like a lot longer.  I think that might be due our extra family member, who has changed everything for us, and time goes much slower and the days feel way more full.  But either way, it has been the best 4 year of my life and I am so blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful husby!  To celebrate we had a night out last Saturday and Tilly stayed over at her grandparents.

We started the day by going to the cinema, which is one of our favourite things to do, and saw 2 days in New York, which is the sequel to 2 days in Paris.  After that we went for a drink and I finally found a the perfect bloody Mary.  Even though it cost 126kr which is like ridiculous.  Unfortunately the fact that it was perfect was due to the bartender and not the bar.  So when I ordered my second one, he had finished his shift, and his colleague knew nothing about making a bloody Mary.  But we were not going to let anything mess our night up.  So we went to our old favourite restaurant SMAK.

We have been there a lot and even though we love trying new places, there is something comforting about knowing that you will be impressed with every course and have a great night, almost guaranteed.  The restaurant is based on Taste which is the English translation for its name.   You can pick 3, 5 or 7 courses and have wine to match.  Its incredibly well priced for the type of place it is, so that is one of the bonuses.  Each dish is a flavour like garlic, mint or Parmesan and then the dish is based around that.  We went all in and had 7 and didn't mess around with any desserts, we just stuck to the good stuff.  Very full and a bit tipsy we caught our 380kr  cab (again ????)  and opened the Jameson and turned up the tunes.  No child in the house and no one to wake you up at 06:30 means extra large ones were poured!  This resulted in a very late, fun, romantic and 'just like the old days' night.

Thank you my gorgeous man and I look forward to another year or 30 with you x

Hen...???

So here in Sweden at the moment there is this big debate going on about what I would say is the biggest crock of shit in the world.  It revolves around calling children (mostly) 'Hen' instead of Hon or Han - which for my English friends is Her or Him, and therefore Hen would be 'It' I suppose. ?????

This is so that we do not differentiate between the genders and ensure men and women are not pigeon holed.  Well I'm not sure about you, but I can find more than one biological fact that makes us different and ones we cannot get away from no matter how PC we are.  Physically we have parts that are specific to each gender, which also makes it only possible for women to reproduce.  And as I found in this article, there are 78 other differences.  

But what annoys me about this new obsession with this, is that it has double standards.  Are we to call our children unisex names now or should we call boys Judy and girls Richard just to make sure we are not specifying gender?  If it isn't supposed to matter what gender you are, then why do woman still get paid less than men, and why can't little boys go around wearing sparkly shoes?  

I just think everyone has taken a serious overdose of trying to be politically correct about everything, and I don't know if its just here in Sweden - so please fill me in on what else is going on out there.  

Tintin in the Congo was almost taken out of the library because it portrayed black people in a derogatory way.  It was written in the 30's, so by taking it away would be like deleting history. 

 This kids book above has been in the news too lately because its considered racist because of the black character.  She is too black basically and we are not meant to make a point of this.  Again its like deleting people out of the world and is just inverted racism.  

I say just let people get on with it and stop trying to restrict everything we say about each other, because eventually we won't be able to recognise any differences between us.  Be kind to each other and then it wont make a difference what colour or gender you are anyway!

Peace out!

Arty Farty...

Last week we went to see our good friend Joakim Kocjancic's amazing photographs at the Gallery  Kontrast in Stockholm - which is still on for a few more weeks.....SO DO IT!
He is an amazing photographer and we were lucky enough to have him take our wedding pictures.
 Weddings are not really what he does, but he since he was a guest and had lived in Dublin a few years before, he was kind enough to capture our special day, in a style no one else could have done as well.

Anyway Tilly had a great time looking at all the photo's and it felt good to get her appreciating art so young.  Definitely something for all those winter days ahead!

If you want to see them all go here .
ALL PHOTOS ARE THE PROPERTY OF JOAKIM KOCJANCIC.

My buddy...

Tonight was definitely hands down, one of the best evenings I've had with Tilly.  She is my best buddy!
The moment I walked in the door she summoned me to her room to show me all the things she was up to.  Husby went to a parent meeting at daycare, so she was very interested to know why she couldn't go too.  So we had a long discussion about it over dinner, where she, as usual ran through her day with me.
After dinner she then did the best role-play game ever, where she pretended to be me, and I had to be her and she was taking me to daycare.  She acted out all the stuff we do in the morning and then said good-bye and told me to not be sad and that she would be back later to get me, she needed to go to a 'meeting'!  It was adorable.  Then she came to 'collect' me and asked if I wanted to go to the park.
Later when we were reading before bed, she explained all about how she sometimes get sad when I leave and just needs another hug and kiss and then she can go and play.....needed to look away for the tears in my eyes!
She told me she loved me in English and Swedish and wondered where I love you lives.  I explained that love lived in your heart in your chest.  She thought it was quite funny that she had it inside her!
I really love the age she is now and I can't wait to have more brilliant conversations with her every night from now until the end of time!
Thanks my little buddy!

2 peas in a pod...

There is no doubt that Tilly is husby's daughter.  I mean I carried her in my belly and sure as hell pushed her out, but when it comes to how she looks and how she behaves, she is his.

They both love books and reading which is a fantastic hobby and since Tilly was a baby she has been gentle and thoughtful with books, magazine or anything with pages.  We have read to her since she was born and it's now a standard thing for everyone to have reading time.

They both have a cleft on their chins, which is super cool and very rare and they can both twist their tongues in a weird way, that I heard was only something geniuses could do.  That explains why they are both rather odd creatures too!

They both love travelling, playing hockey, eating Kalle's caviar, they don't like mushrooms, they loves milk, they like the Beach Boys, Elvis and Sam Cooke, they both have a bad case of OCD and are super impatient!
So not too much like me at all!  But I suppose as she gets older it will even out, and of course she will be like herself - which is the best way to be - An individual.....

Inspiration...

Today I treated myself with the new UnderbaraClara book from blogger Clara Lindström.  She has my dream life!  It's not so much that I want to be her or someone else for that matter, but I would like to have the motivation and creativity she has, as well as the house!  Living in the countryside away from the big cities.  Baking, gardening, sewing, painting, creating and taking care of her son - all as part of her job.  Now that is what I call a modern housewife.  And as anyone who knows me knows, that I think being a housewife is the best job ever!

So its not a bad term as lots of woman nowadays think.    I think 'chicks with dicks'  my affectionate name for 'independent woman' have messed up the way both genders feel in current times.  Men are so confused of their role and are too afraid to be chivalrous in case they get a kick in the groin.  Woman are exhausted for trying to be as successful as men in their careers, while being good mothers and wives.  So I say whoever burnt that bra, better stay outta my way!  I'm glad woman have rights now of course but that gives them the right to choose.  So if its a housewife or an electrician they choose, it shouldn't make a difference, and we shouldn't be so obsessed about proving ourselves.  You can never get away from the fact that men and woman are not the same and will never be!

Anyway whatever type of woman you are, if you want to feel feminine, creative or inspired, have a look at this book.

PO.Psicle...

I realised today when we were on our way to daycare (which was one of the better mornings we have had!) that Tilly was dressed literally head-to-toe in Polarn O. Pyret.  It wasn't intentional, but I guess this will be the way things are from now.  The dress, leggings, scarf, fleece, jacket, socks, boots and hat are all PO.P!
There was a time not too long ago, that I was thrilled to just have a pair of socks from there.  So we really are fortunate and grateful to have such a good quality brand as our normal attire.  Thank you clothes gods!
So now anyone with a daughter younger than Tilly needs to become my new best friend when I update her wardrobe!  Watch this space....

Best mexican restaurant ever...

Last week I was lucky enough to have a night out with my friends in Dublin in the new hot spot 777.
This is the 3rd restaurant by my oldest friend John who in recent times has taken over Dublin with his cool ideas, excellent service, and super tasty food.

777 is the kind of place that in my opinion suits busy professionals who don't have the time or strength to go out for drinks, dinner and a club like they did in the old days.  It has a Mexican theme but it ain't no burrito joint.  This is the real deal.  Hard to pronounce, weird cuts of meat, odd mixtures and the best, strongest and largest cocktails in town.  The decor is bling in a kind of east LA Latino, tits and ass kind of way -if you get the picture!  The music is throbbing and loud and immediately when you sit down and the first cocktail arrives, you know you're in the danger zone!

The food is the hero here because its not the usual fare which I was stoked about.  You can order a starter and a main or you can order a few dishes to share or have as a main.  I went for the tuna tostados, taquitos carnitas, and the dish that shocked the table - medulas which is roasted bone marrow.     

By the time we had got through all the food and the well priced, delicious wine, dessert seemed too much.  But cocktails sounded like a much better idea! So we ordered some more of those babies and enjoyed our last chats and laughs before we stumbled home to the babysitters at 01:00!

777 did it in every way for all of us.  I've heard some who have moaned about the price of the cocktails but when you live in Stockholm and pay the same 12euro for half a small glass of a weak run of the mill drink, it's money well spent!  And anyone complaining about the food, doesn't know food and should stick to oily enchiladas at those tacky pretend Mexican places.

So if you on for a good night out with that party feel get down to 777.  And if you looking for any other kind of great food experience try one of John's other places Dillinger's and the Butcher Grill in Ranelagh.

Home Sweet Home...

We have just got back from one of the best trips home to Dublin in a long while.  Many reasons for this but mostly I'd say it was the great weather.  For once it was dry and sunny the whole time we were there.  It's amazing what a difference it makes, especially when you have a little lady to entertain.  Normally I find we are indoors too much and she ends up watching TV and getting bored.
This time we did lots of fun things outdoors, while spending time with family and friends.

First it was celebrating my sister Amy's graduation which was great and I am super proud of her.  Then it was dinner at the Unicorn restaurant which was not as good as I remember, but nevertheless we had a great time.

Then it was a day at the Zoo with granny and all the fun animals.  Tilly was mostly searching for monkeys and 'dragons' otherwise known as crocodiles.  We had a great time, bar the issue with the gift shop closing for an indefinite period.  It's amazing that you pay 15euro and kids are not free after 3 years, and then have to stand outside the shop until the rude bag comes back from her 'break' and doesn't apologise.  Even to the people who were leaving the zoo and wanted to buy a stuffed toy which they didn't have at the gift shop at the exit, and then were made to walk all the way to the other end of the zoo to buy it, only to find the shop closed!  Service me arse!  But Tilly didn't care as long as she got her ice-cream and got to wear her ballerina dress!

Then it was a trip to the suburbs to visit her new best friend Z and the little man S at my wonderful friends L&D's pad.  What fun they had.  Lots of playing, eating, going to the beach, bathing together and watching Peppa Pig before bedtime.  We also met up with another great friend S and went to the pier where Tilly got her other new favourite friend Minnie.  Catching up with everyone while still having fun with the children was not stressful at all and I was really impressed at what a great sport Tilly always is.

Tilly got quick visits from her godmothers Leone and Hilary too and hopefully now has a better picture of them when she is looking through the albums.  She also was a gem when we went out for dinner (which deserves it's own post, so stay tuned) one night and stayed with a babysitter she had not met yet.  She ended up waking up and having a big chat with her before going back to bed, and when I asked her about it the next day, she was really positive and said she liked the lady very much!  Score!

The trip ended perfectly with cosy times back at granny before we headed back to Stockholm, where one pappa was VERY excited to have his little lady back!

Thank you L&D for making us feel so at home and for showing us a great time.  You are brilliant!
Thank you family for nice quality time with Tilly, she really enjoyed it and is still talking about it!
xxxx