Our 15 minutes....

After a fun packed weekend of 40th birthday partying, I am now 'normal' enough to read my subscription of this months Swedish family magazine ' Vi Föraldra'.  And what makes it an even more interesting one, is that it features none other than the Sundkvist Family! 

It's an article about only having one child, in a society like Sweden which is not very open to this idea.  I have translated it, and hopefully you will see why we've chosen to just have our little Tilly! 
Happy reading....


"It's really not as awful to be an only child as everyone thinks"


- It would be absurd if the only option was between having zero or two children. For us it you only need to have one child, says Mikael Sundkvist, father of Matilda, 2.5 years.


Matilda has crept up on the couch with a cinnamon bun, while dad Michael and mom Tabetha offers refreshments. In their circle of acquaintances and friends, it is unusual to have only one child.


- When we say we are probably just going to raise one child, we  generally get two kinds of reactions. Either people laugh a little and say, "Yes, as you say now, but in a few years you will have more children." Or they think: "How selfish of you, it will be a shame for Matilda." We see very little acceptance. It is never someone who says, "Ok, you have chosen only one child, how wonderful," says Michael.


Michael grew up with siblings and has a good relations with his three year old younger brother.


- Actually, I ought to advocate siblings, because I have positive experiences with it. But there is no guarantee that one will be tight just because they are siblings. There is no answer, but you have to listen to your own feelings and needs. It sounds very calculating, but for us it fits in well with one child for many reasons, he says.


Tabetha and Michael expressed a lot about why they want a child and no more.


- It's not just that one child is enough, but we've been thinking a lot about this, says Michael. Our choice is based on our lives. We had children at quite an advanced age, 35 or 40 years. We are accustomed to having a lot of freedom and control. When you have children you lose that control.


- We wanted to start a family but not that our lives change so much, and still be able to give Matilda 100 percent attention, says Tabetha. We like to travel, work and have our own time. For us some of it would suffer if we had more children.


Since Tabethas relatives living in Ireland, the family go there at least twice a year. They reason that it would be difficult to travel as much as if they had more children.


Matilda has eaten up her bun. Michael suggests that they put Alfie Atkins puzzle together. He says there are more demands on the parents when there is only one child. They must be prepared to stimulate and interact with Matilda and also make sure that she often sees other children. Tabetha has a book that they've done, with pictures of everyone they know and their children.


- We must be creative and remind her of all the friends and cousins, even those who live far away, ensuring Matilda does not feel alone, she says.


Tabetha know what it means to be an only child. Her father died when she was five years old, so she grew up with her mother.


- It's really not so awful to be the only children as everyone think. You get to be extensively with adults and have many opportunities to do interesting things, she says.


- Our plan is for us to be a tight little family, who loves to do things together, says Michael.